5 years ago today I met my best mate Claudia. (well actually, it was yesterday but I just stayed up till 1am making gifs for this post) We stood opposite each other in line at the New York Film Academy in Los Angeles. 5 hours later, we were tucked up in bed in the Burbank Ikea showroom. The first of many beds we would share over the years. I can’t actually fully put in to words the journey of eternal glory that we have been on since that day. Instead here’s a condensed version through visual expression. A montage if you like, because quite frankly, everyone loves a montage. First things first. We were adorable.

#milkshakedates

We ate club sandwiches every day

And watched the sun set on Venice Beach

Leonard Nimoy’s son was our tutor

Seriously

(Image credit: capoutoftime.tumblr.com)

Oh yeah, and WE WERE HELLER GANGSTA.

THIS WAS OUR WHIP #SEBRING 

THIS WAS LUNCH #CLUBSANDWICH

THIS WAS OUR BEST MATE DANNY “MACHETE” TREJO

WE WENT TO VEGAS…

AND LEFT 12 HOURS LATER. COS WE JUST ROLLED LIKE THAT

WE MET PAC (Disclaimer: This is not the real Tupac Shakur. This guy was a postman)

WE TUCKED OUR NAPKINS IN OUR SHIRTS

COS WE JUST MOBIN’ LIKE THAT

WE DROPPED IT LOW EVERY TIME J COLE “WORK OUT” CAME ON

WE ROLLED WITH PACO

WE ROLLED TANDEM

ON EVERYTHING

LIKE A COUPLE OF “VENICE CHEAPSKATES”  WE SAW THE LAKERS

WE INSTAGRAMMED THE SHIT OUT OF THESE KIGUS WITH A FILTER

WE STARTED SOME SERIOUS FIRE IN THE BOOTH

WE ATE MORE CLUB SANDWICHES. THIS TIME FULL OF EMOTION

WE RE-UNITED IN HACKNEY AND DICKED ABOUT WITH PIGS FEET

AN SPAT ON LONDON FIELDS IN VINTAGE FURS

AND WROTE A CHRISTMAS HIT “PISSY CHRISSY”

WE CREATED “BANJACKS AND PERVIS”

AND OUR COMPANY “DO IT LIVE

”

WE RE-UNITED AGAIN IN SYDNEY. #PORKYS

AND WE WROTE A COMEDY TV PILOT CALLED “DEAD BROKE”

AND WE FILMED IT. ILLEGALLY. BECAUSE GANGSTA.

IN THE NEVADA DESERT. COMPLETELY NAKED. BECAUSE GANGSTA.

WE WORE THESE SHIRTS. BECAUSE GANGSTA.

AND SUNG THE SHIT OUT OF R. KELLY. BECAUSE BUMP N GRIND.

WE LIVED BY THE MANTRA #WWGD. BECAUSE GINUWINE.

CLAUD’S MUM HAD ACTUAL CONCERNS THAT WE HAD ACTUALLY BECOME GANG BANGERS.  YOU CAN READ ALL ABOUT IT ON CLAUD’S BLOG HERE TO BE FAIR, SHE HAD EVERY RIGHT TO WORRY. COS ONLY A TRUE GANGSTA WOULD DO THIS

OH AND IF YOU LOT ARE WONDERING WHY THE ‘SHITS’? ONLY TRUE FRIENDS WHATSAPP EACH OTHER THEIR MORNING DUMP. #PILEHIGHCLUB

YOU CHANGED MY LIFE C-UNIT. #gosapinjeforlife