5 years ago today I met my best mate Claudia. (well actually, it was yesterday but I just stayed up till 1am making gifs for this post) We stood opposite each other in line at the New York Film Academy in Los Angeles. 5 hours later, we were tucked up in bed in the Burbank Ikea showroom. The first of many beds we would share over the years. I can’t actually fully put in to words the journey of eternal glory that we have been on since that day. Instead here’s a condensed version through visual expression. A montage if you like, because quite frankly, everyone loves a montage. First things first. We were adorable.
We ate club sandwiches every day
And watched the sun set on Venice Beach
Leonard Nimoy’s son was our tutor
(Image credit: capoutoftime.tumblr.com)
Oh yeah, and WE WERE HELLER GANGSTA.
THIS WAS OUR WHIP #SEBRING
THIS WAS LUNCH #CLUBSANDWICH
THIS WAS OUR BEST MATE DANNY “MACHETE” TREJO
WE WENT TO VEGAS…
AND LEFT 12 HOURS LATER. COS WE JUST ROLLED LIKE THAT
WE MET PAC (Disclaimer: This is not the real Tupac Shakur. This guy was a postman)
WE TUCKED OUR NAPKINS IN OUR SHIRTS
COS WE JUST MOBIN’ LIKE THAT
WE DROPPED IT LOW EVERY TIME J COLE “WORK OUT” CAME ON
WE ROLLED WITH PACO
WE ROLLED TANDEM
LIKE A COUPLE OF “VENICE CHEAPSKATES” WE SAW THE LAKERS
WE INSTAGRAMMED THE SHIT OUT OF THESE KIGUS WITH A FILTER
WE STARTED SOME SERIOUS FIRE IN THE BOOTH
WE ATE MORE CLUB SANDWICHES. THIS TIME FULL OF EMOTION
WE RE-UNITED IN HACKNEY AND DICKED ABOUT WITH PIGS FEET
AN SPAT ON LONDON FIELDS IN VINTAGE FURS
AND WROTE A CHRISTMAS HIT “PISSY CHRISSY”
WE CREATED “BANJACKS AND PERVIS”
AND OUR COMPANY “DO IT LIVE
WE RE-UNITED AGAIN IN SYDNEY. #PORKYS
AND WE WROTE A COMEDY TV PILOT CALLED “DEAD BROKE”
AND WE FILMED IT. ILLEGALLY. BECAUSE GANGSTA.
IN THE NEVADA DESERT. COMPLETELY NAKED. BECAUSE GANGSTA.
WE WORE THESE SHIRTS. BECAUSE GANGSTA.
AND SUNG THE SHIT OUT OF R. KELLY. BECAUSE BUMP N GRIND.
WE LIVED BY THE MANTRA #WWGD. BECAUSE GINUWINE.
CLAUD’S MUM HAD ACTUAL CONCERNS THAT WE HAD ACTUALLY BECOME GANG BANGERS. YOU CAN READ ALL ABOUT IT ON CLAUD’S BLOG HERE TO BE FAIR, SHE HAD EVERY RIGHT TO WORRY. COS ONLY A TRUE GANGSTA WOULD DO THIS
OH AND IF YOU LOT ARE WONDERING WHY THE ‘SHITS’? ONLY TRUE FRIENDS WHATSAPP EACH OTHER THEIR MORNING DUMP. #PILEHIGHCLUB
YOU CHANGED MY LIFE C-UNIT. #gosapinjeforlife